


unrequited

by 95bugi



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Author does not know how to end a story, Hanahaki AU, Hanahaki Disease, I just dumped an idea here enjoy, M/M, hanahaki, idk if this can be classified as angst, kinda sad, sehun cries hehe, sehun is there for like 2 secs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-05 05:53:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14610912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/95bugi/pseuds/95bugi
Summary: love isn't instantaneous. you don't feel love out of the blue if you just want someone else to live. it's called pity.





	unrequited

**Author's Note:**

> the idea of hanahaki made me want to suddenly  
> write 394 fics about it, even if I had limited pairings (i cannot publish these fics, they'll be in my drafts forever)
> 
> A short explanation of what Hanahaki is; taken from the website Fanlore:  
> "Hanahaki Disease (花吐き病 (Japanese); 하나하키병 (Korean); 花吐病 (Chinese)) is a fictional disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim's romantic feelings for their love also disappear." 
> 
> (i still have 3 fics with the Hanahaki concept) 
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!!!! (this is unbeta-ed.)

The first thing a person asks when they learn someone has Hanahaki is, 'who?' It's not 'why' or 'what' or a 'how', just a simple flatout, 'who?' 

Jongin made a mistake of not locking the door as he had a coughing fit and quickly ran to the bathroom. 

Jongin has always been a sickly kid, but he knows that this will have to affect him the most.

Petals were scattered around the living room, and Jongin reminded himself to clean those up before Kyungsoo comes home. 

He heard the faint sound of the door creaking, but the petals spilling were continuous and he cannot stop it. He can't believe he just threw up carnations on the toilet. As he wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth he almost jumped when he saw Kyungsoo on the doorway. 

"Hyung! I-" 

"Who is it?" He deadpanned, making Jongin gulp.

"No hyung, it's nothing I-"

"Who is it, so I can come and get them for you." Kyungsoo spoke in monotone, but Jongin can sense the worry in his eyes. Kyungsoo doesn't believe in Hanahaki, probably because he never loved someone or the sight terrifies him. 

Jongin on the other hand doesn't believe on the 0.01% probability someone will return the favor back. He'd rather die struggling to breathe as the thorns twist on his trachea. Or get surgery at least. It's better waiting for the day someone would love you back. You can die waiting. 

"If you don't want to tell me, it's fine. Let's get you cleaned up." He said as pulled out a broom and started sweeping the spilled petals. 

Jongin just hopes he won't interrogate further. 

The night goes well as planned, Kyungsoo seemed to gloss over the situation that unfolded earlier. 

"Is it Taemin?" Kyungsoo suddenly asked, making the younger cover his face in embarassment. 

"No! Taemin has someone already!" 

Kyungsoo pursed his lips, trying to think of someone that Jongin had given interest in. 

"Sehun? Baekhyun? Chanyeol?" Jongin only scowled in response, avoiding more of Kyungsoo's questions. 

"Is it Krystal?" Kyungsoo gasped all of sudden, but Jongin furiously denied the allegation. 

"We're just friends!"

"Fine, fine. If you don't want to talk, I understand." He said as he rested his head on Jongin's shoulder, flipping channels on the television to find something to watch. 

Suddenly Jongin felt the stems latching on his throat, the petals were tightening on his chest and he had a difficulty to breathe. 

He started coughing again, this time the flowers were azaleas. He felt the feeling of dread come back as Kyungsoo held him as the flowers came spilling. 

It's tight, so tight, Jongin wishes it would stop. His mind is getting hazy and his vision is getting blurry. The flowers are choking him. His lungs are bounded by thorns, but despite all the pain Jongin thought it was a beautiful sight. 

"Let's get you to a hospital."

-

Kyungsoo's heart sunk when he realized. 

Was it him? 

It's sad that he could not feel the same for the younger. 

Unrequited love is no joke. It's pain. It's the most beautiful kind of pain, you have to live with somebody not loving you back, but at the same time it feels good for them to not know and you're cherishing every moment you spend with them. 

The first thing he sees is Jongin crying on his hospital bed. 

It's too much, god it's too much. He couldn't bear to see his favorite dongsaeng crying in frustration, pounding his fists on his bed. 

"I'm sorry," Kyungsoo trailed off. Jongin's eyes were red, like the carnations he threw up earlier, and he was trying to hold back his sobs. 

"No, hyung-" Jongin choked on his words, as he smiled bitterly at the scene going on in front of him.

"I'm sorry." Kyungsoo repeated.

"No."

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry." 

"Don't do this hyung, please."

"Is it me?" Jongin looked up to Kyungsoo with watery eyes, and put his head back down again as he held his elbows closer to his chest. He coughed again, and Kyungsoo rushed to catch the falling petals. 

"I'm getting surgery on Saturday." 

Suddenly the pity, the worriedness, and all of Kyungsoo's rationality were thrown away just by one simple statement.

"No. You won't." 

"Hyung, I need to! If these flowers won't stop, I'll stop them!" He wailed, and Kyungsoo let his head rest on his chest for a while. 

"Kim Jongin, I'll absolutely not allow you to get-" 

"This is a way to get it off my chest, it's away to stop this instantly, and if I don't do this, I'll die! Sure, dying is an easy circumstance, but the pain I'm feeling, this unfamiliarity, it can be gone easily if I do this. I'm young, I still want to live, and you have nothing to do to stop me!" The younger snapped, pushing Kyungsoo away as he said the last sentence. 

Kyungsoo was taken aback of what the younger said, as once again, he had burst to tears. 

"Jongin,"

"Hyung, please leave." The younger begged, trying to not Kyungsoo straight in the eyes as he trailed off his words and bowed down his head. 

With a heavy heart, Kyungsoo left the room.

-

Kyungsoo hasn't heard about Jongin in three days. It's worrying him a lot and he doesn't know if he's okay or not. 

The house is empty without him, much like Kyungsoo. 

Love isn't instantaneous. You don't feel love if you just want someone to live. It's called pity, and Kyungsoo isn't sure if these past years if it was love or pity. 

Kyungsoo is more ashamed to admit. 

If it was really love he was feeling, why did it not end? Is there some kind of process to undergo before the flowers stop? Does he have to tell Jongin what he really felt? But what if, Jongin already had surgery and the feeling are gone? Would it resurface?

So many questions, but Kyungsoo couldn't think of something to answer them. If he wants to talk to Jongin, he has to find him first. 

"Sehun?"

"Ah, hi Kyungsoo-hyung! How are you?" 

"Do you know where Jongin is?"

"Jongin? I- uh, um, I don't know-" 

"Sure." 

He might just know one place to find him. 

Kyungsoo is riled up with anticipation as he walked over to Sehun's door. 

Was it really him?

He never got confirmation from Jongin. Kyungsoo doesn't want everything to go wrong. Maybe it is Sehun. Hopefully Kyungsoo doesn't screw this up. He just wants to talk to Jongin.

He knocked a bit, and Sehun was quick to answer. The smile on Sehun's face faded as he opened the door. 

"Kyungsoo-hyung?"

"Hi." He said as he walked past Sehun and went inside his house. 

The younger has surprising fast reflexes and blocked Kyungsoo from entering further. Since Sehun was a lot taller than Kyungsoo, he couldn't see anything behind him, all was blocked by Sehun's bony body. 

"Hyung, isn't it rude to enter a house so suddenly?" Sehun made a 'tsk' sound, mocking his hyung. 

"Isn't it rude to lie on the whereabouts of someone?" Kyungsoo deadpanned, as he pushed Sehun slightly away.

"Sehun-ah, is the pizza here-" Jongin walked in to the two, and as he saw Kyungsoo he dropped the book he was holding. Sehun in the back was muttering profanities, as he held his hands over his head. 

Kyungsoo didn't even say anything, he just launched forward and proceeded to hug the younger one. 

"I'm sorry I'm sorry," He repeated those words over and over again, hugging Jongin tightly. Kyungsoo was crying, because he missed his dongsaeng and he cared so much deeply about him. Jongin wasn't even saying anything, but he returned the hug.

"I'm sorry, I love you," Kyungsoo sobbed, taking in breaths so quickly, it feels like his lungs are failing. 

Jongin must have got the surgery. He knows his logic, Jongin doesn't believe in the 0.01% statistic. The younger isn't moving in his place, Kyungsoo's heartbeat got seemingly faster. Now he might feel the pain. 

"Hyung, I love you too." Jongin finally said, wailing in his words, surprisingly it came out. 

And suddenly the flowers that were in Jongin's chest, the ones that were once suffocating him, making it difficult to breathe, the ones that were wilting out of hopelessness, have disappeared and it made Jongin feel lighter. 

"I didn't get surgery because I want to keep these feelings for you hyung. I know it's hard, it's a struggle, but I really want to keep loving you even though I die." Kyungsoo was shocked by his statement, does he really love him that much he wants to go through more pain? 

"Don't hurt yourself like that." 

"But hyung!" 

"I-is the show d-done yet? I'm alread-dy c-crying." The two laughed as they saw an actual crying Sehun behind them. Sehun ran to them and gave them a big hug, and the two laughed again at how cheesy their youngest was. 

"C-can you guys just date already?" Sehun said as he coughed and sniffled. 

"Uh, um yeah, Jongin. I wanna take you out for maybe dinner later? If you're okay-" 

"Totally!" He half-shrieked until realizing what he had said. "Uh, yes, of course." 

Their dinner date went really well, considering it their first time alone as a couple. They also went to the beach because Jongin said he wanted to stargaze but Kyungsoo insisted there were barely any stars in the night sky. 

"Hyung," He mumbled, getting closer to Kyungsoo as he rested his head on his shoulder. The other let out a short 'mhm' as he tangled their fingers together. 

"Why haven't you kissed me?" 

"I don't know, because this is our first night alone together." Kyungsoo replied as Jongin pouted, Kyungsoo laughing at the cute sight. 

Jongin was the one who got closer to Kyungsoo, in which their faces are inches away and Jongin decides to go for it. It was short and sweet but there was nothing in this world that could describe how Jongin was longing for this moment. Jongin swore his heart did a backflip like one of those gymnasts on the television. 

"I love you, hyung." 

"I love you too, Jongin."

**Author's Note:**

> ah finally. it has been done. this has been in my drafts for almost a year now and i'm only publishing it right now. this work had a lot of ups and downs. i'm glad it's finally out in the system. 
> 
> this was my old author's note when i thought i'll be publishing it sooner:  
> THE ENDING IS SO CHEESY I'M ENDING MYSELF anyways !!!! i can't believe i just finished this aaaaaaa. i started this three days ago and im so happy lmao bye thanks :)))))))) 
> 
> thanks !!


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